DISTRESS

My Life is in shambles. I am in deep pain. Growing up wasn’t this distressful but suddenly I’m beginning to lose hope in everything I am gay in a country where my kind are being despised and spat on, growing up was fun because of my discreteness and I wasn’t an outside person. So many people are still don’t know that I am gay. My gay tendency only favours the older and more matured people, but growing up, I didn’t have the opportunity of meeting my type because of environment I grew up in. I was mostly alone and resorted to masturbation for satisfaction. At some point during those years, I contemplated committing suicide, I kept asking God why He chose to make me this way without providing an escape route. At times, I envy my “straight” friends, I do wonder why I can’t be like them. I tried to fit in but it was never me. When I got over my suicidal tendency after a brief online chat with Rev. Macaulay and Colins Coward, I began to accept myself for who I am even though I was still very discrete. Now, I am in my early 30’s, the first in my family and the pressure is all on me now…. To get married. All my mates both while in school and the ones I grew up with have all married. My suicidal tendency is back, I just want to die and leave all these behind. I can’t live a lie, I am forced to live a lie Nigeria is suffocating me I need someone to love I can’t find someone to love Help me! By prezzy